My husband and I adopted a child from foster care earlier this year. She has been leaving in our home for over a year now. We have all grown closer together as a family over the past year. We love our child very much but at times we do not connect. I think back to when my husband and I met 12 years ago, we had to form a connection. I remember thinking when my husband and I was dating that he was a nice person but I didn’t think that I wanted anything serious with him. We both laugh as we talk about that now as we could not imagine our lives without each other but that took time and it didn’t happen overnight.
When we were starting our adoption journey I read all the forums about other people adoption experiences. Mostly everyone stated that they knew that they were going to be a family and that the child was meant to be theirs immediately! My husband and I did not necessarily fall head over heels at first site rather we thought our daughter seemed nice. During our visits with our daughter we had mixed emotions on rather the situation was something that we could handle as my daughter has special needs. We ultimately decided that we could handle her needs and moved forward with the adoption and we are glad that we did.
It can be stressful at times taking care for a child with special needs but it is very rewarding at the same time. We know that we are all still learning each other as a year is not a long time to be together. We are moving closer together every day but at times it still feels a little forced. My daughter willingly embraces her dad and I and she does tell us that she loves us and we do the same to her. When my daughter was in foster care we had a physiological done (foster care requires them every 2 years) and they made mention that she may have problems attaching but then they dismissed it due to her history in foster care. She doesn’t really exhibit the typical symptoms of RAD but we will keep it in the back of our minds.
For now, we are all getting to know the things about each other that you wouldn’t know because we missed the first 8 years of our lives together. I am sure that we will bond more and have a strong connection!
